This morning I woke up and part of my tooth had fallen off in the night. This is clearly not something that happens to a young person, so I’m pretty certain that I must either be old or have some fatal enamel-related disease.
I immediately called the dentist to try to schedule an appointment, but they were fully booked today and tomorrow, out of the office Monday and Tuesday, and would have to call me back when they have an opening. This is disturbing to me. I’m not a vain person — really — but this is not okay. It’s a work-from-home day.
I love that we live in a time where working from home is an option for so many people. I sell headsets for a living, so I know that more and more companies are going with a computer-based telephone system like Skype for Business. This allows people to log into their virtual office in virtually any location with WiFi.
Don’t get me wrong. There are a lot of benefits to working in our office. There’s a free fitness center downstairs (if you’re so inclined), a nice break room with free coffee and cold brew, and access to colleagues who have answers to any problems you encounter. It’s a 50-minute commute for me, though, and I’m loathe to do it on a daily basis. Additionally, there are numerous distractions in the office. My biggest distraction of late is Darrell. He’s like a little hyper puppy: really cute and sometimes really annoying.
So, working from home has a lot of advantages: no commute, no distractions, no Darrell. It does, however, come with its own set of challenges. First of all, the refrigerator is never more than 10 feet away. Secondly, I have a cat who loves to play fetch (for real), and he doesn’t like to be ignored when he drops his fake mouse at my feet. Finally, bed. Oh my… how nice it is to take an afternoon snooze. It just feels so decadent and delicious!
But how, you ask, could one get away with a little nigh-night mid workday? Mouse Jiggler. There are a bunch of apps that you can download that will continuously move your mouse, so it appears that you’re online and working furiously. (You can also buy a physical mouse jiggler on Amazon.)
My friend, Chad, told me about the mouse jiggler three years ago.
“Chad! What were you doing online at 6:00am?”
“I just threw my mouse jiggler on and hopped in the shower. Needed to get my full eight hours in before I leave the office at 2.”
I know. It’s not right. It’s like fraud or theft or espionage or something, but here’s how I see it. If I weren’t napping at home with my mouse jiggler on, I’d be walking to Dunkin’ Donuts with Darrell to buy scratch tickets. In the end, the nap is going to benefit me, my customers, my colleagues, my cat, and my world. I’m going to be a happier, healthier person because of it! The scratch ticket’s not getting me anywhere except maybe debtor’s prison.
I don’t often jeopardize my job…but when I do, I do it with Mouse Jiggler. (I think that’s an ad for something, but I can’t remember what.)
The dentist never returned my call, so it looks like tomorrow’s another work-from-home day!
Okay in the End 
Well, so I just read your blog-post “on the clock” so who am I to judge, but mouse jiggler seems so… I dunno, swarmy. Almost like buying a giant cut-out of yourself and placing it at your desk. Or reading blog-posts while you’re supposed to be working. A friend of mine used to work for Citibank from home, and they tracked her key-strokes. I wonder if there’s an app for that.
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“Swarmy.” That’s perfect. I don’t feel good about my behavior, if that makes you feel differently about me!
Fortunately, my company doesn’t care nearly as much as Citibank does. (I’m “banking” on it.)
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O don’t feel any worse about you than I do about me responding to this message right now. I’m introverted, so when I’m at work, I’m astounded by the amount of time people in my office hang out and talk. I’m obliged to do it with my boss a couple of times a day. I’d get more work done at home… between naps. 🙂
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